After days of searching for a worthy captain to take us from South America to Central America, we finally found the dirty sexual attitude we were looking for, Captain Fredrico. His ship Sacanagem (lit. filthy behaviour, dirtiness, unfairness, lewdness, licentiousness), was ready to take us from Cartagena in Colombia to San Blas in Panama along with 9 other filthy mochileros. 200 nautical miles with no harbour in sight, only seawater to wash with, is all forgotten as night time comes and hundreds of tiny bioluminescent plankton scintillating like the starlit sky above, and yet again it slips our minds as a large family of dolphins jumps and plays next by the boat for miles.

If your looking for a culinary experience, South America is not the place to go, I know most people will say: “what about the steaks in Argentina!” Yeah, yeah I like a chunk of beef as much as any other man, but really, it’s not food magic is it? But if you like a lot of salty grilled meat, an Argentinian parilla or Brasilian churrasqeria is the place for you as long as you don’t mind being constipated for a few days.

The humidity is at 90%, the heat around 37, and we’re lost in the middle of a jungle, but the spirit is high, we have torches, but no mosquito spray. Just a few hours ago, we where sleeping in a hammock facing the Caribbean sea on tree sides. Eating chocolate filled bread and chasing miniature frogs with a camera. But now we’ve gone and got ourselves lost, and boy it is hot.

Delicious cakes can be found everywhere in the changeable city of Bogotá. On the top of a beautiful forest covered hill a church bright in sunlight looks over the city. The museums are filled with wonderful painting including the enormous works of Botero. Narrow attractive streets a contrast to the disruptive and loud traffic. We stumbled into the after mass of a demonstration, banks and shop windows broken, graffiti everywhere and riot police covered in paint.

The first night in Lima we celebrated escaping the Hare Krishna village by going out drinking with fellow volunteers. The tasty pisco sours helped the conversation flow well into the night. The area we stayed in Lima was a lovely surprise. The horror stories we heard about the city were not evident. We were next to the beach surrounded by appealingly crumbly mansions. However, our first time back in a dorm since Brasil was a shock for the system.

On day one at our second eco-village we knew it was not for us. We both felt Eco-Truly was a facade of sustainability. Unused eco-technologies were kept in glass cabinets to show to visitors. The organic vegetables produced were sold and cheap ones bought in for the villages to eat. Those staying there seemed to care little for the environment but a lot about Hare Krishna. We both felt cheated as it was described in a deceiving way.

I thoughtless cover a brown bug in sand, realising my mistake I half heartlessly try and dig it out. Later that night I feel a bug on my ear, I try and grab it but it crawls right inside. It hurts as it wriggles deeper and I start screaming and kicking my legs. Jim who is sitting next to me clearly thought I had lost the plot and tried to calm me down.

Our hostel owner in the beach town of Iquique was wonderful. On our first night Maria organises a BBQ with both locals and hostel guests. The set price included yummy food, cocktails, wine with great company. Jim only made it to bed at 5am carrying a broken hard drive. The next evening there is a film night in the garden of the hostel. It amazes me how one person can make such a difference to your impression of a town.

Jim somehow managed to convince me to sign up for climbing Huayna Potosí a 6088 meter mountain near La Paz. This is crazy high especially for us with little to no experience of climbing at altitude. Day 1 was training on a glacier, we climbed up and down snowy slippery slopes wearing crampons and climbed steep faces using ice axes. That night we played cards and got to know our fellow mountaineers.

To celebrate Jim’s birthday he ate an innocent Guinea pig…